My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. ~Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. ~Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? ~Steven Wright
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. ~Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. ~Steven Wright
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. ~Steven Wright
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